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Nicole Scherzinger sat down for her very own Behind The Music on VH1 and confessed she suffered from bulimia and body image issues during her time with The Pussycat Dolls. “I just hated myself. I hated myself. I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life.”
“Yeah, I’m nervous about it. It’s embarrassing. I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know. I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction. It’s like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I’d come back to my room and I’d be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction.”
“I did it everyday for, like, years. Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I’d try to hide those. I think the girls could tell.”
Scherzinger also dropped another bomb…she sang about 95% of the vocals for the Pussycat Dolls’ first album, PCD.
“I love those girls. They’re like my sisters. But people don’t even know the whole story. They have no idea. I was in the center because I was singing.”
Executive producer Ron Fair stands by the former X Factor judge, saying, “Melody sang a bit here and there, but the records were Nicole, with the exception of an occasional ad-lib. They were Nicole. It was her.”
“I hope I don’t get in trouble for the stuff that I say,” Scherzinger says, “but I’ll never forget I finished the album, PCD, and Ron and I brought the girls into the studio and we played it for them. It was the first time they’d ever heard the music.”
“Do you understand what I’m saying? We played the album for the Pussycat Dolls,” she says. “It was the first time they’d ever heard the songs.”
I always knew Nicole did most of the vocals, but I thought Melody did more singing!
Behind the Music episode premieres Sunday, Oct. 7, at 9 p.m. ET
Photo from PR Photos
