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Kesha is happy and healthy after her stint in rehab. The pastel haired pop star wrote an essay in Elle UK about her time in rehab and what led her to hate her body.”That first day in treatment was the scariest of my life. I worried about what people would think. I was here for an eating disorder—but I knew people would assume I was here for other things. Sure, I’ve written songs about partying, but my dirty little secret is that I’m actually incredibly responsible. I take my music and career very seriously, and certainly didn’t land in this situation from partying. But I was cut off from the outside world and I imagined people making up stories at a time when what I really needed was support.”
Kesha reveals she wanted to be a good role model but was dealing with her own issues.”I’ve always tried to be a crusader for loving yourself, but I’d been finding it harder and harder to do personally. I felt like part of my job was to be as skinny as possible, and to make that happen, I had been abusing my body. I just wasn’t giving it the energy it needed to keep me healthy and strong.”
She continued, “The music industry has set unrealistic expectations for what a body is supposed to look like, and I started becoming overly critical of my own body because of that. I felt like people were always lurking, trying to take pictures of me with the intention of putting them up online or printing them in magazines and making me look terrible. I became scared to go in public, or even use the internet. I may have been paranoid, but I also saw and heard enough hateful things to fuel that paranoia.”
But her time in rehab had started her reinvention of herself, “During that time I began to feel a shift in my mentality and really started to understand my own self-worth. I started to not worry as much about what other people thought of me. I could focus on my music and my happiness and not what I looked like. I’m not fully fixed—I am a person in progress—but I want to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Even I need to be reminded that we are who we are. And when I say that, I f–king mean it, now more than ever.”
So happy she’s doing better.
Photo from Instagram